


Bad Ideas

by Capnslappin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Being Friends With Your Ex, Coming of Age, Discussions of abuse, Except You're Twenty Something And Maladjusted, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Toxic Behavior, Post-Break Up, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Terezi is wonderful and she is to be treated with nothing but respect in this house, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Working through your shit, heavily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-06-03 11:07:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19462720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capnslappin/pseuds/Capnslappin
Summary: Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you'd just like to feel normal again.Or, how Karkat got over the emotional trauma of his past relationships with the help of his ex, his friends, and an asshole he meets at a bar.





	1. Side: Karkat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this... is a lot of shit. I'm very freaking happy to be writing again and honestly, I needed to write this. It's gonna be long, and it's gonna touch on some heavy topics, so do be wary of the tags. So yeah, enjoy this first chapter, which are lightly inspired by some real events.

The week leading up to all of this had come with some sick clarity of just _how_ fucked up you are. It’s something that forces you to face up to your own insecurities, your pitfalls, everything about you that’s gross and stupid inbetween them. You’ve been holding Terezi back, sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally, and realizing that? It sucks. It sucks bad. And it’s not really split-second of a decision you make when you do it, it seems like it’s something you’ve been unconsciously working towards since you started this relationship in the first place. And that feeling… it sucks more.

When you gave the promise ring back to Terezi, she didn’t look surprised. Sad, maybe, but not surprised. She was always the more emotionally in-touch one, she probably saw the moment you started crawling back into yourself when you kissed. When you started drifting further and further from her. When your words started to lack love.

“I’m sorry, Karkles.” She whispers, pocketing the ring.

You shake your head, trying your best to hold back all the pain. All the words you don’t want to come out. Can’t have come out. Terezi just shakes her head back, mimicking you perfect even when she can’t see you, and placed her hand over your trembling one.

She smiles, just a little, “I’m sorry I thought I could fix you. I’m sorry I tried to fix you. You don’t need to be fixed. You need help. And I came to that conclusion too late and now I can’t do that either.”

“No,” you choke out, a loud, mournful sob bubbling forth even though you were the one to cause all of this in the first place. You don’t deserve to look like you’re more hurt than her. You don’t deserve to cry. “Rezi, no. _I’m_ sorry. This is all my fault. It’s me. _I’m_ the problem. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She pulls you into a hug you don’t deserve, shushing every hitched sob. She was always like this, always trying so hard to help. She was the better half. Terezi was dynamic and beautiful and caring and everything you hoped would rub off on you if you stuck around long enough. She was so good. She was _too_ good for you. She deserved better. If you really loved her, you’d let her _go_. But letting her go is the last thing you want. You don’t think you can handle losing her, but you know that you can’t keep her tied down to you anymore.

When you stop crying, Terezi immediately sits you both down at the kitchen table and dives into talks about living situations and who gets to keep what or if you’d rather continue cohabitating. You know she’s doing it for you, and to make sure that this will have the least strain on you both, but your head is spinning, and you can barely think. You decide the best option is to try to wheedle out of her what she would want because as much as you _love_ this being a ‘let’s help Karkat through their break-up’ fest, this is _her_ break-up too.

“Terezi.” She bites her lip and doesn’t look up at the sound of your voice. You say it again, a little softer, a little more pleading. Something she can’t deny.

“I… I don’t know.” She admits, deflating in her chair. “I don’t want us to never see each other again, but…”

You place a hand on her shoulder, it was always so _slim_. Almost delicate, but you’ve known her for too long to think of her as being anything akin to ‘delicate’. “Terezi, it’s fine. I won’t be hurt by it. You matter just as much as I do in this mess, you can’t just keep prioritizing me over you. It won’t make you happy. And this? This is for us to be… happier. Eventually.”

“I know, but I just. Ugh, I hate this! I hate the change. I know, I was unhappy, but I was _comfortable_ being unhappy.” She looks confused and angry and you want to wrap her up in your arms and never let her go, but you _don’t_.

“And that’s exactly why we needed to do this. We were both comfortable being sad sacks of shit, and honestly? That’s not _us_ that’s not who we are. I refuse to accept that idea! We are two people who are argumentative, and stubborn, and socially anxious. Yet we agree on almost everything, and anything else we just agree to disagree, and our favorite date nights were when we went out dancing even though it’s so far out of our comfort zones. We’re both kinda fucked up, sure. But we weren’t unhappy. Before everything happened. I want us to go back to being the way we used to. I want us to be _happy_.”

Terezi wipes the mist out of her eyes and straightens up. “You’re right. Fuck. Yeah. You are… right.”

“It’s pretty weird saying that, huh?”

She laughs. “It… is. But. Yeah okay. Serious face.” She pulls her lips into a grimace and scrunches her brows. “Activated. Time to talk about feelings.”

“Serious face also activated over here,” you say despite smiling at her. You missed joking around like this.

“I can hear your smile, dipshit,” her own grin is starting to peek through the angry veil. She looks up, eyes not roaming the ceiling, but some part of her mind. Like she’s looking over all of her thoughts and deciding what should be said first. “Yeah… feelings.”

She sighs again, resting her elbows on the table. “I think… it would be better for us to live separately. I don’t really want to move, but I think all of this, everything that’s happened, and all of our emotional baggage? It’s all stuff that we would get over better if we weren’t in the same spots that got us there.”

It honestly hurts to hear her say that, but you know exactly what she means. “So… I think I should make some calls then?”

She nods, popping her lips on an affirmative ‘yup’.

You end up calling Sollux. He’s more than willing to take his old roommate back. He sounds… honestly happy to have you come back. It’s an eagerness that makes your heartache. When was the last time you’d even talked to Sollux? Was he still with Feferi? How was his life going? Did he still talk to Equius? Was Equius still friends with Nepeta and did she still hate you for when you stopped talking to her in high school? Maybe she heard about everything that went down. Maybe she understood, after all this time. You miss her too, suddenly. Then, you miss Eridan, for no good reason other than he was one of your friends that you dropped once everything went down and you didn’t realize how small of a box you locked yourself in until now.

You get tired of thinking about it all very quickly, and after a mutual agreement to continue talking about it tomorrow, you hang up with Sollux and resolve to get the hell out of the house. You hadn’t left the house for who the fuck knows how long. It’s insane to think Terezi put up with this bullshit for a year of her life. She can do much better. She doesn’t tell you as much, though, when you get up to head to the bathroom because when the hell did you shower last? Instead, she asks you how you feel.

It’s weird because you’re sad, you are _really fucking sad_ , but the other part of yourself, the one that’s still there even after all that’s happened, knows that this is for the best. Not just for her, but for you, too. You were codependent, you were holding her down. For the first time, you were _toxic_. It makes you sick thinking back on almost every day of this relationship. All the anger you’d let out on her, all the tears, all the highs, and lows at a whip-lash inducing speed… she didn’t deserve any of it. You need to be better. For her. _No_. For yourself.

“I’m… well, fuck, I’m not okay.” You laugh and congratulate yourself on being able to make her smile, even if it’s tentative. “But, I have a lot of shit I’ll have to work through. I have to do it on my own. I don’t want you to be… strung along with me. I want you to live. And I think that all of this?” You gesture widely at yourself, even though she can’t see you, “Will get in the way of me being able to… love you in the way you should be loved. You _should_ be loved by someone who doesn’t have their head shoved so far up his ass he can’t see the light of day anymore. And I think that, even if this sucks right now, eventually… we’ll be happy.”

She bites her lip; dark, little brows furrowed like she’s thinking real hard. “Karkat, do you… do you still love me?”

“Of course I do,” You answer automatically. Then you think. Terezi means the world to you. She’s your better half. She’s the one who had always been there, even if it hurt her doing so. She was perfect and wonderful, even if she was sometimes overly hyper or super analytical of you or took things too far when talking about hypotheticals. But it was the little things like that which made her… something you’d never seen before. It was what drew you in. As time went on, though, it became draining, irritating even. You love her, but it’s not the same as it was. The initial lust wore off months ago, and the reality set in and then… what? You love her, but not like then. You love her platonically. You love her like a friend, and the revelation hits you like a brick. When did you fall out of love with her? When did it happen? She’s still staring at you, though. Waiting like she knows there’s more.

You take a deep breath. “I love you, Terezi. You’re my best friend in the whole fucking world, there’s no one I could start to compare you to. But I refuse to lose my best friend and the last thing I want is for this relationship to be the end of us being…”

“Us?” She finishes with a wry smile, finally taking off her own promise ring and slapping it on the table with a loud ‘thwack!’ “That’s good, no that’s… great. I love you too. You’re my best friend, too.”

Her smile progressively became more genuine as she spoke, until it was a full grin. The sight brought more unwelcome tears to your eyes, ones you wipe away as fast as they come, deciding to laugh instead of giving into any pain. She follows your lead, giggling over everything and nothing and all the messy, horrible things that occurred between them.

“We’re a mess,” She laughs.

“Excuse you, _I’m_ the resident mess in this household, bitch.”

Terezi outright cackles, breath coming short and grin so wide it looks like it hurts and it’s almost strange how the two of you can do this. The second biggest change of your life just happened yet here the two of you are, laughing and just… existing with each other normally. You desperately hope it stays like this, easy and homey. You’ve had enough of hating your exes for a lifetime, you couldn’t handle adding Terezi to the list.

“You need the bathroom? I’m gonna shower.”

“Nah, I’m fine. I’m actually gonna go over Vriska’s later so I should get ready now. Her and Kanaya have something planned.” She rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s ‘ _girls’ night’_ , apparently.”

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember you telling me about that. Well, have fun. Is spiderbitch picking you up?”

Terezi laughs, “L-M-A-O. Yeah.”

“Did you just say ‘laughing my ass off’?” You cringe, “Rezi this is an _in-person_ conversation.”

“T-B-H, Kark, I-D-C.”

“Okay I'm taking a shower, you better be gone when I get out!” You make a point to let the smile smooth your words as you talk, so the increased volume can still be seen as joking. It’s something you have to consciously do but still feels normal. You want that again. _Normal._

You take as fast as a shower as physically possible. Being left with your thoughts for too long isn’t something you think you can handle right now. A lot had just happened, and you think that you’re both being a child and acting like an adult. You did the right thing, is what you keep telling yourself. You did the right thing and now the next right thing is to focus on getting the hell better.

Maybe that can wait until tomorrow. Or maybe it isn’t really waiting if you’re doing something so tragically out of your current comfort zone that its a new, undiscovered planet that’s solar systems away from Earth.

You’re gonna go to the bar. You are going to go to the fucking bar and you are going to _dance_ like you are sixteen and you’ve never met anyone named ‘Gamzee’ and you haven’t just ended a year-long rebound with your best friend. You laugh at yourself a little as you soap your hair. It feels dumb, going to go by yourself but _fuck it_ , you need it.

Terezi is, in fact, gone when you get out. So you take your time drying off and changing. Skinny jeans that you can barely get yourself into and a white shirt that dips low enough to show off your collarbone is the most club-worthy ensemble you can bother to muster from the void that is the closet. You don’t feel like trying to tame the dark, curly mess that is your hair so it goes ignored, but you decide to snag some of Terezi’s highlighter and messily smear it on your cheekbones, the tip of your nose, under your brows, and the bow of your lip. You _shine_ and fuck does it feel good.

  
One last look over in the mirror makes you feel even better, somehow. Your hair doesn’t look unkempt, so much as fashionably messy and the pants, though old as shit, still stand to make your ass look _perfect_ . You smile and not even your fucking snaggletooth can pull you out of the idea that you look _great_. It’s some weird, impossible feeling of being happy with yourself that you haven’t had in forever. And you wonder if Terezi is feeling this too. If she feels like there’s a weight that’s been lifted off of her shoulders and like she can take on the world. It won’t last, you know that. Eventually, you will have to come back down to reality. But for right now, you just want to feel like you used to again. You want to feel alive. You make sure you have your keys and your wallet and your phone and then you’re gone.


	2. Side: Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave really fucking hates bars but hey, his friends are here, might as well try to have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER FUCKING TWO  
> I'm so sorry this took so fucking long!! My mom broke my laptop when she was helping me do our taxes, so I had to wait to get it fixed so I could get my drafts of this chapter back.  
> We're with Dave right now! He was really fun to write and a bit more lighthearted than Karkat in a few ways. Writing Dave feels so fluffy with the mixes of crippling sadness in between and I hope that not horribly jarring mood wise. More conflicts between Karkat and Dave's personalities will happen next chapter, but for right now here is something nice. and also megamind.

You Immediately regret all of your life choices when you get to the bar. It’s cold and the wind is making you wish that you had some pants that  _ didn’t _ have rips in them because you’re fucking freezing and you hate John. Really, this all goes back to John, in the end. After The Breakup, as he had come to call it, John made it his priority to “get you back in the game.” Especially now that you “can tap that fine man-ass.” Which, all irony aside, really made you question why you were friends with him.

Either way, you’re here with John and Rose and The Ex And they all plan of setting you up with some dude tonight because they think it’s the next healthy step to your life. Which, yes it is, but that doesn’t mean you’re any more willing to put yourself out in the world. Like “hello world, my name is Dave and I’m a flaming homosexual, but not that flaming. More smoldering. Like Dwayne the Rock Johnson in the Jumanji remake.” No, you’re just not… ready for that yet. You still want to be you. You can’t just… you don’t know, but Rose could probably psychoanalyze the internalized homophobia for years.

The Ex somehow goes in first with Rose, despite both you and John having been standing in front of them on line the entire time. And then,  _ finally _ , you’re stamped by the beefy bouncer and you rush to get into the warmth of the club. John beelines for the bar, probably hoping liquor would help him feel less like a walking icicle. Rose has The Ex on her arm and they walk to the dance floor, which is surprisingly filled for the club only opening an hour ago.

The music is obnoxiously loud and it smells like a hundred things you don’t want to think about and the anxiety starts to claw at your throat. You didn’t want to be here. You would’ve much rather be home, where you could curl up with your cat on the couch and watch the same Ben Stiller movies that you’ve been watching since you were ten. But no, everyone just  _ had _ to butt themselves into your business and make it a priority to involve you in friend-outings.

It’s okay. You love them, and getting to be with them, even if it’s not the most pleasant thing ever, is nice. You’ve been a mild wreck since The Breakup and this somehow gives you a sense of normality you had been lacking for a long time. It’s weird to see Jade, resident ‘Ex’ in your mind now, dance with your sister carefree. You wonder if this is some front she’s putting up to make you feel like she’s moving past everything well, just like how you’re simply wearing the thin veil of happy-jackass you normally would.

You wonder if she finds it as exhausting as you do.

John’s disappeared at already, and part of you doesn’t feel like making the trek around the bar to go find him, so instead you take up residence in the nearest vacant seat with a view of the dance floor so that you can make sure Rose and Jade are fine. If John really needs you, he’ll be able to find you. Or he can just call, it’s the twenty first century for a reason.

“You want anything, hun?” the bartender yells to you over the sound of the music, looking mildly frantic with the initial rush of the place opening.

“Whatever’s easiest for you to make!” You smile gently, “I’m not difficult.”

She looks relieved, then turns to the wall of bottles behind her. You turn back to the group of people dancing, easily finding Rose’s near-white hair in the harsh lighting. She’s doing some weird mix of arm movements and witchcraft as jade just bobs agressively to the music. They’re both grinning like maniacs. They’re fine.

The bartender returns, setting him down a rum and coke with a maraschino cherry. “Five bucks, hun. I made it how I like it, Cherry Coke and Bicardi. If you want a normal one, let me know!”

You shake your head and hand her a five, “This is fine, thank you!”

You take a sip, and honestly you get why she likes the cherry better than the regular. The syrup masks the taste of the rum more. That is both a blessing and a curse. It tastes so little of liquor you could drink a shit ton without realizing it and get sloshed. Which is bad. Drunk Dave is fun but he’s also very quick to start crying on the nearest shoulder like the protagonist of a shitty Hallmark movie. You’d really prefer to not have that be the turnout of tonight.

The music changes and starts to play a song you’d heard before, it had a nice enough base and a solid rap in the middle. It’s a little too mainstream for you to admit you listen to, but shit pop and rap go together  _ so well _ sometimes it’s just not fair. You turn back to watch the crowd move along with the beat. Dancing was never really something you liked, it was just too many people. Too much  _ touching _ . Especially when they were sweating. You feel like you’re swimming through a crowd of salt and BO. Gross.

But sometimes. Like once in a blue moon. A blue moon that only occurs every six years on a clear night in October at exactly 1:53 in the morning. You see someone that makes you  _ really _ want to dance.

He’s small, almost getting lost in the crowd because of it, but he’s just close enough to the edge that you can make him out clearly. He’s not with anyone, or at least it looks like he’s not with anyone, but that doesn’t seem to phase him. His head, full of dark, wispy curls, is ducked as he moves like fluid to the baseline. His hands are far above his head, twisting and curling as his hips roll.

He’s fucking gorgeous, is what you’re getting at.

When he looks up, you can see that he’s mouthing the lyrics of the hook, and fuck, for some reason  _ that’s _ what does it for you.

You turn to quickly down whatever’s left in your glass and make your way over to the crowd. There’s a tremor in your leg that lets you know your anxiety is starting to rear its ugly-ass head. But fuck that shit, there’s a gorgeous guy on the floor and tonight was all about you getting out of your comfort zone, or some shit. It’s not like you’re less of a man for wanting to dance. It’s just dancing. And maybe talking. You’d like to buy him a drink.

It’s just dancing.

You repeat that to yourself as you move between the people rocking to the music. Someone brushes up against you by mistake and that feeling of  _ gross gross gross _ bubbles up, but then your in front of  _ him _ and all of that melts away like this is some cheesy romcom and it’s going to be revealed in a few moments that, actually, he has a wedding to go to and he  _ really _ needs a date to that because the groom is ex or something.

That doesn’t happen, though. What does happen is you standing there awkwardly for a solid seven seconds as he does not realize you are there. Your hands clam up even as you reach up and touch his shoulder gently. He twists to face you, and fuck you’re done. This is it. He’s actually really fucking cute.

His eyes are a dark hazel that gleam lime in the pulsating lights overhead, they’re framed with thick lashes and are so expressive you find yourself getting lost in them for a whole second. Maybe you are turning into a romcom. That’s the only explanation for any of this.

“Can I help you?” One dark brow rises in question.

You have to physically hold back from saying he’s pretty to his face. “Can I dance with you?”

He smiles, cheeks flushing just the slightest bit. He doesn’t answer, but he does wrap his arms around your shoulders. You take that as an enthusiastic yes. All of the ingrained movements from dating a dance-a-holic like The Ex come in handy because you have to really try in order to keep up with him. Even then, he’s good and you feel almost out of place, and ready to pull away and call it quits. Each time you almost do though, he pulls you the slightest bit closer. Holds you just a fraction firmer against himself. Smiles reassuringly. He’s so tiny in your arms, he fits there better than Jade did. Your heart finds itself lodged somewhere up in your throat when he does something smooth and very close to grinding his hips against yours.

You don’t want this to just be dancing. You want everything else, too. You could imagine it, too. Asking him to have a drink with you at some shitty coffee house in town and landing date after date until you're actually together and you can be  _ happy _ for a long fucking time and not have to  _ lie _ anymore.

Then you start to overthink. What would Bro think if he saw you now? Now that you’re just flaunting how much of a fucking fag you are. Shit like this is what leads to getting beaten in the streets, Dave. You wanna get jumped for being a little faggot? People like that are disgusting, Dave. They deserve it. You don’t want to deserve that do you? You don’t deserve anything. You’re disgusting, Dave. You’re so repulsive and the only reason this guy is staying as close as he is lies in the fact that he hasn’t found out just how gross you truly are.

The happy daydream slips into a nightmare as you imagine this person looking at you disgusted because you asked him out to coffee. The insults he could throw, and how his voice sounds exactly like Bro.

“Hey,” a hand cups your jaw gently. “Are you okay?”

You’re not. You’re really not. But you don’t want to let him go yet.

“I think I need to sit down for a sec. I feel like a truck hit me after it went speeding through a red light because the driver hasn’t slept in three days trying to get a shipment out.”

“That’s… oddly specific.”

You bite your lip, “It was, wasn’t it.”

“You need water.” The man says with a sense of finality, grabbing your hand and pulling you back towards the bar. He orders for you, and the only thing you can think is that this is not how you wanted it to go when you wanted to buy him a drink.

He hands you a glass, and then pushes you toward the smoker’s door of the bar. You try to protest, but he sends you a glare that lets you know there’s no room for ‘but’s.

The air is just as cold as before, but this time it feels like heaven. The sweat sticking to your back starts to be less disgusting and the mental fog that overtook you dissipates in the night air. You take another sip of your water. The guy you were dancing with is leaning against the brick wall of the building, stretching and yawning lazily.

He meets your stare, “How are you feeling?”

“Kinda shitty, honestly.” You admit. “Better in the open. Thanks.”

He shrugs, then slowly lowers himself to sit. He pats the spot next to him and smiles up at you expectantly. You feel like a dumb moth following an extremely hot and clearly labeled flame.

When you sit, he leans against you heavily. Like he was waiting for you to support his tired form. He suddenly shoves his hand into the arm that isn’t holding the water glass, jostling you slightly. “I’m Karkat.”

You shake his hand. “Dave”

“That’s a nice name.” He says slowly. “Dave”

“No it’s not,” You snort, “It’s boring as fuck.”

Karkat smiles, “It is. Do you live up to your ‘boring as fuck’ name, then?”

You put down the water glass just so you can motion for a ‘so-so’. “I’m not like. Most Interesting Man in the history of Dos Equis commercials, but I am, yknow, averagely interesting.”

“I like that,” he laughs. “Averagely interesting sounds like my speed right now.”

“Why’s that?”

He shakes his head, burrows a little closer. “Stupid shit. Breakup.”

“Ha, same.” You take a slow sip from the water. It’s starting to get cold out here, the water feels warm in comparison to the air.

“Wait, really?”

You nod, “So like, The Ex is one of my longtime best friends and we had always grown up with jokes of like ‘oh, Jade and Dave are going to end up married one day, they get along  _ so _ well’ so when we actually got old enough to date we just kinda... did. And then I realized I am very gay and have a lot of baggage due to said realization and broke up with her for obvious reasons.”

“Huh.” Karkat nods.

“It’s yeah.” You agree. “What about you?”

“Okay, so,” he shifts the smallest bit so he’s facing you but still simultaneously attached at every feasible point of contact he can and it makes your chest hurt and your body warm with some gross, dirty feeling in the pit of your stomach. “I was in this really bad relationship a while ago, and when it ended, I had the wonderful idea to date my best friend. Pretty much, I have not worked through all the mental shit from the old relationship and was kind of a piece of shit for a while. I broke it off with her today. We’re still best friends and it’s all going to get worked out but tonight I needed…”

“To relax?”

“Fuck,” he sighs, leaning his head back against the wall. “I really needed to relax.”

You nod, “Jade uses dancing to relax, too. Used to be what she did after every fight.”

“Me and Terezi used to do it all the time before we started dating.”

“Wait? Terezi?” You perk up a little. “As in Terezi Pyrope?”

His brows furrow. “Uh. Yeah?”

“Dude,” you can’t hold back the laugh bubbling in your throat, “I was in her Humanities class two semesters ago! She was my desk mate!”

“Wait, fuck really?”

“Yeah, holdup I think I still have her number.” You pull out your phone to scour the contacts, before tapping on the one that says ‘Barezi’ with a red ‘B’ emoji.

He takes your phone to look at the number attached. “I’ll be damned. Yeah, that’s my best friend. Holy shit. Wait.”

He looks up, pointing a tiny finger at your face. “Strider.”

“That’s me.”

“Holy shit!” He laughs, “She did tell me about you!”

“Aw shit, what did she say? Only awesome things?”

“She said she liked your cologne and that your raps were subpar but very entertaining.”

You grip your chest with a hiss, “I can’t believe TZ would diss me behind my back like that. The least she could do is say it to my face.”

“Was the rapping really that fucking bad?”

“I mean,” you grimace. “Yes. Back then? Yes, most definitely they were awful.”

He snorts quietly before leaning back against the wall. “You’re kinda funny. I wish we would’ve met sooner.”

“Hey, meeting by chance at bars are a solid second choice. It’s like every meet-cute starring Ben Stiller come to life.”

“Yes, except unlike the god-awful acting of Ben Stiller, we would get to the point within two acts and not have to deal with all of the poorly done melodramatics.”

“Poorly done?” You gasp. “Blasphemy! Have you never seen Megamind? It is the pinnacle of both Stiller and romantic comedy.”

“Ben Stiller was in Megamind?” He stays on the floor as you rise up, glaring at you a bit petulantly. “Also Megamind isn’t a romcom or a meet-cute, so that doesn’t count.”

“I- what? Excuse me? Megamind isn’t a romantic comedy? You obviously have not seen Megamind, and we’re changing that now.”

You put out a hand for him to take, which he does begrudgingly. “I’ve seen Megamind! Like, whenever it was when it came out!”

“It came out in twenty-ten! You were a child! No wonder you couldn’t perceive the wonderful intricacies of Megamind.”

“Oh my fuck,” he laughs as you pull him back into the club so you can find John and tell him you’re leaving. “Are we actually going to watch Megamind?”

“Hell yeah we are!”

John is hanging out on a stool at the bar and talking to some girl you’ve met before. You can’t remember her name, though. Vicky? Veronica?

“Vriska?” Karkat asks, shouting in your ear so that it could travel over to the two of them.

The girl’s head whips to face you both, face twisted behind her coke bottle glasses. “Karkat? What are you doing here?”

Karkat’s the one pulling you forward now, near-stomping his feet as he walks. “I should be asking you the same thing! Isn’t tonight ‘Girls’ Night?’ or something? Where’s Terezi and Kanaya?”

“Oh they’re here! This was a last second addition when I found out that John was here. And then when Kanaya caught wind that Rose was here… well there was no way of us  _ not _ stopping by for a little while.” She takes a sip from her glass, “But my question still stands: what are you doing here, Vantas? Especially with… Dave?”

“Sup,” you wave a little awkwardly. You know vaguely of her, mostly from stories from John. You really didn’t have an interest in meeting all the people in your friends’ exciting lives when you were dealing with all of your internal shit storms. Now, you can see that it’s coming back around to bite you in the ass like a particularly friendly dog might sample a mailman.

“We didn’t come together, just happened to meet. We’re leaving now.”

Her brow shoots up, “Oh? You move fast, Kark.”

“Not like that, you bitch! We’re going to watch a movie.”

“What movie?” John leans past Vriska with a grin.

You smirk, “Megamind.”

John laughs, “Oh my god! That’s such a good movie! We should join!”

“Ew,” Vriska cringes. “No, we’re  _ not _ spending the rest of my ‘Girls’ Night’ watching Megamind.”

“Sounds good to me, spiderbitch.”

“Nerd.” She snarks.

Karkat struggles to come up with a proper response back, so you jump in to save him from what was going to be an awkward silence while he figured one out. “Yeah, John, I was just coming over to tell you I was leaving, so…”

You back away slowly, pulling Karkat along with you. John and Vriska are staring at you blankly. Yeah, this is definitely more awkward. You wave one last time before turning and beelining the fuck out of there.

Once you get out the front door, Karkat plants his face in his hands and lets out a warbling scream. “That was so fucking awkward.”

You nod numbly. God you forgot how much you hate social interactions. But hey, the night wasn’t that horrible. You get to watch Megamind now.

“Oh yeah,” you stop walking for a moment, Karkat stops with you. “My place or yours? Because I live in the opposite direction that we’re currently walking.”

“Oh shit, sorry I was just automatically walking back to my house. It’s only three blocks from here if you don’t mind that?”

“No, that’s good.” He starts to walk again and it’s only now that you notice that, yep, you’re still holding hands. That’s cool. That’s… really cool. But Karkat just went through a breakup. Like, maybe a few hours ago. No matter how easy of a breakup it was, he had to be feeling some sort of emotional tumult over it. He even said it earlier, he had to end this one because he needed to get over some shit. Which is fine. Honestly, you should think about doing the same thing. Currently all your emotions are canned up and stamped with little expiration dates and lined up for the little soccer moms to buy only to realize that whatever’s inside is going to spoil any day now. Then, all the cans get returned and put aside to be thrown out, like a little town of cans. A can town.

Karkat is just kind of staring at you like you threw up on your own shoes and it’s really only then that you come into the stunning realization that you said most of that asshattery out loud and most likely ruined your chances of potential friendship.

“Uh. Are you okay?” He asks gently.

You nod, “I’m coping.”

“W-with what?”

“Crippling embarrassment.”

  
He barks out a laugh at that, and the tension seeps out of the air around the two of you. Karkat still holds onto your hand as you walk, and you feel a little more secure in the fact that you didn’t ruin everything before. It’s quiet now, and you realize that it’s maybe because Karkat is tired. Now that you’re thinking about it, you’re  _ really fucking tired _ . You hope you can stay up long enough to watch a movie, especially one as worthwhile as Megamind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will include: Karkat ranting about megamind, feeling jams, and tarezi being her awesome self


	3. Side: Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no see!! This chapter took a bit of me to write. I had a plot for what was going to happen and then life stuff came up and then the whole thing spiraled out of my hands. Hope you still like it though!  
> When will the next chapter be out? honestly I'm not sure, but I'm trying. and I hope you can all try to understand that. :)

Dave is… kind of weird. But nice. And he talks a lot. It’s almost overwhelming, you think when you’re on the way to your apartment and Dave is rambling on about some rapper you’ve never heard of, but it’s also kind of nice. That just seems to be the duality of him. All his talking forces you to focus on him, not to be so stuck in your own head the entire time. Going on and on about random, little things as you walk to your apartment, then about the gloriousness of popcorn as you make a bowl for the two of you, including an entire tangent about how he snapped the wire of his braces because he refused to stop eating it in middle school.

He talks through all of Megamind, especially when you both realize that Ben Stiller was only a cameo, not the main hero-villain-hero guy.

“What!” Dave threw popcorn at the screen as the bespeckled, animated visage of Ben appeared on screen. “I’m such a fake fan! I thought Will Farrell played this guy. How did I get it so wrong!”

You reach over to yank the popcorn bowl from his hands, lest he throw any more on your floor. “Yeah, yeah, you’re a horrible person. Now hush up because this movie is actually really good and I’d like to hear it with my own two ears.”

“Oh, I’m  _ sorry _ . What exactly did you just say?” Dave leans over so that he’s dramatically draped over the back of the couch and you simultaneously. “Did you say it was  _ good _ ? Could I have been  _ right _ ?”

You take a handful of popcorn and shove it into his face. He screams and proceeds to chomp down on the closest kernels, managing to include your hand in that process. You scream back, palm now caught in the grips of Dave’s unreasonably sharp teeth.

“Let me go, dumbass!”

Dave tries to say something around your hand, only managing a muffled “Thay Murphy!”

“What! Wait, Murphy? Do you mean ‘mercy’? Say Mercy? Really!”

Dave remains steadfast, glaring over the rim of his obnoxious glasses. And it’s then that you see,  _ hey _ , those peepers are  _ red _ . Like blood fucking red. Blood fucking red. Huh.

“Mercy!” You yell, “Let me go, you fucking vampire!”

He releases, laughing loudly. There are still pieces of popcorn stuck to his face and the light yellow residue of the butter is smeared across his cheek and nose grossly, but he looks so boyishly happy that you can’t help but laugh along with him. 

“Wait, lemme just,” You pause the movie to grab napkins for you both to clean yourselves off with. You come back into the living room to see Dave trying to get a kernel off his cheek with his tongue. You can’t tell if you’re more impressed or disgusted by the display, but either way, you grab your phone with your clean hand to snap a semi-blurry picture before he notices you staring at him. The digital shutter sound of the fucking thing gives you away though, and he freezes, tongue just a centimeter away from it’s prize with a look of horror in his eyes.

“Karkat,” he says slowly. “Did you just… take a picture?”

“Oh yes I did.” You smirk, tossing the napkins at him. “You were just… so  _ photogenic _ .”

He takes off his glasses slowly, before looking up at you with a fierce glare. “Karkat, if that photo gets out, I may just have to--” He wipes his face down with the napkin hurriedly, leaving bright red marks in his wake-- “kill you.”

“Ah.” You say with as little enthusiasm as possible, plopping back down onto the couch. “Whatever will I do. I’m shaking in my boots here. I’m going to piss myself from the all consuming fear you’re inducing in me. Was this your plot all along, Dave? Were you going to kill me this entire time?”

He nods sadly, placing his glasses back onto his now clean face. “I’m sorry you had to find out my secret like this. It’s all true. Megamind was simply a cover-up for what I really wanted to do with you.”

“What did you want to do.”

He shrugs, “Make a lamp?”

You snort and the laughter that ensues is ugly and gross and probably too loud but Dave has the biggest smile on his face and the part of you that would normally feel self-conscious for having made such an awful series of noises dies at the sight of him.

“If I were a lamp, I’d better be the sexiest lamp ever.”

“Like the christmas story lamp?”

“Yes, exactly, I want my leg severed for this shit and I want fishnets and heels.”

“Alright, noted. Any other requests before you die?”

“Yeah, the lampshade itself needs to be Barbie Pink.”

Dave casts you a look that you can see through the lens of his glasses, “Oh? Why is that?”

“It compliments my skin tone, obviously.”

He cackles, “Obviously.”

“Okay, enough talk of human lamps, let’s get back to this.” You settle down into the cushion more comfortably, and Dave does the same, stretching out his obnoxiously long legs so that his feet rested on the table. There’s a hole in his big toe, one that he flaunts when he notices you glaring at it rather than watching the wonderful sequence of dates between Megamind and Roxanne. “Something wrong, Karkat?”

“Only your mental state.”

Dave gasped, a hand splayed on his chest in mock-pain. “I am shocked. I am hurt. I can’t believe this. You betray me like  _ this _ ? Over my  _ toesies _ ?”

“Yes, especially over your nasty-ass ‘toesies’ poking out from your very ripped socks. Why do you even have those?”

“Just ‘cause there’s a hole doesn’t mean I’m gonna ditch them. These bad boys have lived in my house for years, even if I tried to evict them, at this point they have squatter rights. The fashion police can’t even get them to leave, they’re untouchables now.”

You cringe, just as dramatic. “Untouchable is definitely the right word.”

He snickers, but doesn’t say any more, and you go back to watching the movie. It’s good.

\--

Terezi comes home as the end credits are playing, Vriska at her elbow, and drunkenly cackling. “Hey, shitheads!”

“Ew,” Vriska hisses. “You guys are  _ actually _ watching  _ Megamind _ ? Aren’t you adults?”

You stare at her blankly, “Spiderbitch, on a scale of one to ten how happy are you right now?”

She looks at you confused as she plops Terezi on the couch next to Dave, who she immediately clings to and starts babbling about something. “Uh… I dunno? Five? The fun part is over really so probably more like a four.”

“ _ Megamind _ makes me feel a nine.” You cross your arms and lean back slightly, looking down on her even while sitting back on the couch. “I’m ninety percent sure that’s even happier than you’ve been in years.”

“Shit, you got me!” She laughs, and even though you hate Vriska, you can admit her laugh is one of the best things you’ve ever heard. It’s like in those movies when they talk about tinkling bells, except this is the liberty bell and they’re ringing this shit until it’s broken. You smile, and she smiles, and part of you missed these moments where you got along before Terezi,  _ no _ before  _ Gamzee _ . Your humor was always so similar, and maybe that’s why you are both constantly ragging on each other. Maybe that’s why she’d been so horrible to be around for the past year and a half. She was trying to pull your head out of your ass. Or maybe she was just being a bitch. Either way.

She sits herself down next to you, taking this moment of Terezi being occupied with Dave. “So.”

“So.” You hear a loud slap, and know that Terezi was probably trying to see Dave’s expression, but it doesn’t sound loud enough to really worry you.

“Sollux is coming tomorrow, right? Told Rezi to call me if you needed any help moving shit.”

“Yeah. It’s gonna be kind of werid going back there.”

“Why?”

You shrug, “I dunno it just feels like I made such a shit to move in with Terezi and only to go back… It’s just. Shitty feelings?”

“Yeah, shit’s fucking whack.” She nods sagely, before tipping her head back and sighing. “You need help.”

“Excuse me?” You try not to let your voice raise, but frankly, you’re fucking offended.

Her blue eyes meet yours and you’ve never seen them so tired. “You need help. We all do, but shit, Karkat, did you even see anyone after all that crap he pulled? Or are you just hoping you could do it by yourself? We’re here, you know that right? We’re all fucking here and that fact that you pushed us away makes me so fucking angry. So angry. But I’ve decided.”

Your stomach is caught somewhere in your throat and the taste of microwave popcorn mixes with acid and you think you might throw up. Dave is still at your back and Terezi is talking just a bit quieter, as if she’s only putting up an act and trying to listen in. You can hardly speak above a whisper, “What have you decided.”

“I’m not letting you push us away anymore. You don’t have to apologize. Or explain. It’s okay. But we’re not letting you do this alone anymore. Kanaya always asks about you, you know? I think she’d be the best to start with. Soon we’ll get you back to everyone, but it’ll take a while.”

“E-everyone?” You hate how your voice cracks. How it shows how much she’s affecting you.

“Kanaya, Nepeta, Equius, Eridan, Feferi? You’ll be living with Sollux and Aradia soon so that doesn’t count, but everyone’s missed you like hell. Don’t know why. You’re still the same shithead from highschool.” She smiles, sadly and small. Nothing like the Vriska you knew. Did she really change that much all this time. Under that veneer of unfeeling bitch, who was she?

_ Your friend, dumbass_, says a voice that’s all too like the Vriska from high school, when she had a shaved head and braces. You can’t help the little tears that prick the corners of your eyes. This new Vriska, the one you’re realizing isn’t new and has been here all along, pulls this face of disgust, but opens her arms to you all the same. 

“C’mere, dumbass.”

Terezi takes Dave into the kitchen to make her food. But from the quiet in the house, you can tell that she’s really just moved so that you can have more time to cry into Vriska’s shoulder. She doesn’t shoosh you, but she does rub gentle circles into the shaking dip of your shoulders, rocking the two of you calmly. You didn’t think you’d need this. You certainly didn’t expect this type of comfort to be coming from  _ Vriska _ , but really, who else would it be? She had that way of kicking the bullshit out of a person. She’s like Terezi in that, she’d get the truth out of you one way or another.

And it feels good. It feels great to hear someone say that they missed you, that all your friends missed you. That your old life is still there. You still have a place in it. They’re all waiting for you.

It’s the most comforting thing you’ve heard in a long ass time.


End file.
